Sunday, June 19, 2011

First Father's Day

So today is my first Father's Day as a daddy! We're just spending it relaxing at home - the real celebration was yesterday. We went into the nearby city, Greenville, and hung out downtown. We even got to see Shakespeare in the park! It was a pretty good day - I could get used to this.

However, fatherly duties do not go away on father's day. Adelaide is 2 1/2 months old now and getting bigger. She's also starting to eat a lot and cry more than she used to, particularly when she gets tired. As her now primary caretaker, she's taking just about all of my time and I'm really craving adult interaction. Since my writing has taken a hit, I've found that I want to roleplay more, but no one around me plays the game I want to. Still, Adelaide is my first priority. I'll just have to take whatever time I can get to do my writing, even though it means it'll take longer than I thought.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Milkpocalypse

Lesson 24: Do not put anything of value near the baby at any time. Especially if it's paper or electronic.


I narrowly avoided disaster with this one. For a while I have been putting Adelaide in my lap while typing on my laptop (yes, they will both fit just fine). It's really the only way to make her happy and allow me time to write my novel. Now, I think this may have been causing some pains in my forearms, but there is another reason not to do this.

This morning, I was considering looking up my email after feeding Adelaide, but thankfully I turned my computer off last night and was feeling too lazy to turn it back on this morning. I then considered getting my PS3 controller so I could do something while keeping her upright after she ate. You should keep a baby upright for a while after eating to minimize spitting up. Now, this doesn't always work. Adelaide's stomach has developed a way of becoming dormant, not processing any food until the exactly moment you lay her down. This could be 2 minutes later, or 2 hours later. Either way, once you lay her down, spit up will soon follow. Unfortunately, this is not ALWAYS the case.

Thankfully, I decided against getting the PS3 controller. We're trying to keep her from watching too much TV or looking at our computer screens, which is going to be hard on us. I did, however, put on a movie and turned her away from it. So here is the sequence of events. First, I fed her in a mostly upright position, a position I was told was optimum for feeding and keeping food down. Then, I burped her. She always burps twice, though the word "belch" might be more appropriate. I find she always expels gasses vociferously. After burping her, I sat her upright in my lap until he fussed for more milk. I fed her again, burped her again, sat her upright again. Seems I was doing everything right. Then, without provocation or warning, she lets loose a slurry of off-white vomit akin to a Las Vegas fountain. It reminded me vaguely of the scene in a certain Alien movie where a large, black, Gigerian claw skewers the android known as Bishop. I could physically feel her get lighter as the milk pours out of her and down my leg. It forms a pool of putridness around me in the chair. The ottoman is hit, the carpet is covered, and my clothes are soaked. I half expected her little head to swivel around 180 degrees, look at up me, and spit a volley of curses in latin and other languages, most of which had been long forgotten. I am convinced that the stomachs of babies are the one exception to the law of Conservation of Mass and Energy. There was no earthly way I put that much liquid into this small child. This was just as my wife pulled up in the car. I used the burp cloth to try soaking up as much of the mess as I could so I could open the door for her.

While I was in the shower, it occurred to me that, had I been on my computer, or had I been holding a playstation controller, the device would have met an untimely demise. Babies and electronics do not mix. It is like having a small explosive device near you at all times. You must keep it close, care for it, clean it, feed it, but at any moment it could go off and destroy that which you just spent several thousand hard-earned dollars on.

So, I am going to have to learn to put the baby down and NOT pick her up when she fusses. It is the only way to get her to learn that we are still here and she is still perfectly all right. And if I don't, I will never get anything done. I will lose my ability to write and with it, my sanity.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

8 weeks old

It's strange that I can hardly tell the difference day by day in how much Adelaide is growing, but other people tell me all the time that she's getting bigger.

It's also strange that people ask which of us she looks like the most. Can't they see? I mean, she doesn't really have many features that aren't hidden by baby fat, so how are we supposed to know who she "looks like more"?

But one thing I must say. There is no better conversation starter than a really young baby. Just walking around the normal crowd at church brings oohs and aahs and people wanting to tell their own anecdotes (some of which aren't too encouraging). Now if only she didn't have us wrapped around her tiny little finger already...

Saturday, May 14, 2011

School's Out

I finished the semester last week. Finally. Now I am taking care of Adelaide more so that my wife can work and so that she can go back to pursuing her PhD.

It is a bit of a challenge. We are learning together, but since Amy has been doing most of the baby-chores, I am now having to pick them up and learn how to do everything on my own.

I have to say that two things are a major, major help. One of the biggest problems I have is that Adelaide doesn't want me to put her down. If I do put her down, she cries after a few minutes. Now, I am not ALWAYS holding her, but she is being held for a good deal of time. This makes it difficult to get her bottles ready, to prepare my own food, to look for work, to write my story... to do anything that requires either getting up and moving or using my hands. In other words, I've become an expert at watching TV. The first item, however, lets me carry her around while keeping my hands free!

The Ergo Carrier is like a backpack, worn on the front, with a baby in it. She's up against my body, so she gets my warmth and smell and all of that which she likes. It also keeps her up tight, so she feels safe and will often go to sleep or at least stop fussing when she is in it. I can bounce, which bounces her, which calms her. I also have two free hands to let me take care of Amy, her, and myself. The one disadvantage is that putting the Ergo on is difficult to do without a partner. It is not, however, impossible. The upper strap on the back has to be high enough that I can reach behind my head to clip it in, not behind my back. This will become easier as Adelaide grows.

The other problems we have been having is keeping her asleep at night. Now, she doesn't wake up all the time, but she gets hungry at about 9, when Amy goes to bed. So I feed her until about 9:30 or 10 or so. Then she starts to fall asleep, but will only stay asleep if I hold her. After about 30 minutes, I feel safe putting her down. That's when I get to work. In a little bit, she fusses because I need to change her, then I need to feed her again, and the cycle repeats until 1 or 2 in the morning, when she gets more tired. She will still wake up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason other than wanting to be held. At about 4 or 5, she'll wake up wanting to be changed and fed. By that time, it's too late to try to go back to bed, so Amy just stays up and starts her day.



For the past few days, I have been swaddling Adelaide every night. It takes a little practice, but I'm pretty good at it now. The Miracle Blanket works very well! I'll put her in it at around 10. I then hold her, which is much easier when she's a baby burrito, until she falls asleep. Then, I can put her down and she won't wake up. In fact, she doesn't wake up until the morning, when she starts getting hungry. And usually a pacifier or my finger will be enough to tide her over until we want to get up. Sometimes she does wake up while being swaddled, but she's a lot less fussy and doesn't complain about things. She just sits that and looks around. Feeding her a cinch, too, since her little hands don't get in the way.

So, if you have been having the same troubles I have, try these two ideas: a carrier of some sort and swaddling cloths. It doesn't have to be these two exact products, either. Amy likes using a Moby wrap and a ring sling. Most of these carrier provide several different options for carrying the baby as well, such as over the back or at the hip. I have also managed to swaddle Adelaide in a particularly large burp cloth (which, by the way, are lifesavers). The secret to swaddling is to first bind her arms, then bind her feet. Finally, wrap the remaining cloth around the baby so that the two bindings are locked into place. It keeps her from moving and makes her feel like she's in the womb again.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Almost a month!

Yes, it has been a while since I last posted. And there is a good reason. Everything is fine, I've just been swamped with school! It ends soon, so my attention will then turn to finding a job while my wife studies for/passes her comprehensive exams for her Ph.D. So, please bear with me. :)

On Easter, Adelaide turns 1 month old! Yays! And her uncle will get to meet her for the first time! Double yays!

I'll make a more robust post later, but for now, I leave you with this Princess Bride tidbit:

Amy: We'll never succeed. We may as well die here.

Spencer: No, no. We have already succeeded. I mean, what are
the three terrors of the first month? One, the cry
spurt. No problem. There's a popping sound preceding
each, we can avoid that. Two, the glue-like spit-up,
but you were clever enough to discover how to clean
that, so in the future we can avoid that too.

Amy: Spencer, what about the P.O.U.S's?

Spencer: Poopies Of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Week One

Adelaide is now a week old!

It has been a harrowing week, surprisingly. She almost died, we thought she had jaundice, we've had problems with breast-feeding, and there have been times when I thought I would go insane... and it's only been a few days!

At the moment, my parents are here and helping us with chores and showing us other ways to care for the baby. They'll leave tomorrow, but it was good to have them here! Already, Addy has met both sets of grandparents.

Next, we have to figure out the baptism. Do we get her baptized where we live, or 600 miles away where our families are and where we grew up (and may move back to)? If we decide to down here, we need to make that decision soon, as the next time to get her baptized is on Easter. Our church back home will baptize on any week, so it would be more flexible.

Also, we need to decide who the godparents are going to be. Do we chose friends or family? I'm thinking we might choose friends, because the family will always be there to help guide her, but having friends as godparents gives us a good reason to keep them as friends over the years.

I have applied to a lot of work this past week. 10 hotels now have my resume, and I've sent my resume in for a technical writing position. That would be the best option for me. I've also talked with my previous employer and gave them some old work of mine because they are trying to get a technical writing contract.
It's pretty amazing how much I feel the need to provide. I know it's the typical "father role" and is somewhat unnecessary, especially since my wife will likely earn more money than I will. But due to our circumstances, I definitely need to start making some money.
I will be taking some time off from school in order to give Amy the greatest opportunity for getting her PhD. After she passes her comprehensive exams and write the paper she needs to complete, I'll consider returning to school. But, it depends on if I get a good job first. And, if the job if good enough and wants to hire me right away, I may need to drop out of school entirely. Whatever is best for the family. And no matter what happens, I will continue to write, to pursue my dream of being published.

So, it's been a long week and next week, I think, will be even longer and harder (especially since I need to make-up a week of school). But I'm sure we will make it, and before we know it, we'll be celebrating Adelaide's first birthday!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Soothing Adelaide

So two nights ago, Adelaide was starting to get hungry more often. The nurses and doctors said that her appetite would increase in jumps like that, but I wasn't expecting it so soon! Amy was still very sore from beast-feeding. She had just finished nursing when I noticed Adelaide was still hungry. She opens her mouth wide and sticks her tongue in an out, almost like trying to say "Come hither, nipple." Either that, or she'll try to latch onto my arm or chest. Since I knew Amy was empty AND too sore, on a whim I stuck my pinky finger in her mouth.

She started to suck on it! She's got a powerful little set of lungs there! I didn't expect her to get so much of the finger into her mouth. I thought about my fingernail scrapping the roof of her mouth, so I turned my finger upside down. This seems to work pretty well. By doing that, I was able to get Adelaide to sleep for 4 hours straight.

Is this a good thing to do or are there unforeseen detrimental effects?

Baby Manual - How to change baby's socks

Thank you for purchasing the Infant 2011, model LX Female. The Infant 2011 is equipped with all the latest technologies for optimum performance. These include:
- A powerful sound system
- Automatic cuteness display
- Side-impact airbags
- Vacuum capabilities
- 100% money-back guarantee*

*not a guarantee


If only it was this easy right? I've been looking for a manual for some time now, but Amy has yet to pop one out. So I thought I would come up with my own!

Are you having trouble changing your newborn's socks? Fret not! Follow these easy steps and soon you and your baby will be enjoying warm, toasty feet.
1) Turn the socks inside out.
2) Grab the baby's little foot. Don't worry, you won't hurt him/her.
3) Try to put the sock on the baby's foot by rolling it right-side out against the foot.
4) Give up once the toes get stuck
5) Stretch out sock opening
6) Grab baby's foot again.
7) Scoot baby off the edge of the changing table
8) Grab baby's foot again
9) Try to fit the sock onto the foot by stretching it over the toes.
10) repeat steps 4 through 9.
11) Roll the sock up so it's as short as possible.
12) Grab the baby's foot
13) Try to put the sock on the baby's foot.
14) Pick up the sock from the floor after baby kicks it away.
15) Soothe the baby
16) Grab the baby's foot
17) Soothe the baby
18) Try to force the sock onto the foot by wiggling it back and forth
19) Give up when the toes get stuck
20) Throw socks on the floor and wrap the baby in a blanket.

Congratulations! You have just learned how to put a sock on a baby!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Day One

Adelaide is doing great! She finally had her first poop and has been able to get a bit of colostrum from Amy, though the whole breast-feeding thing is a bit of a challenge still.

Last night, Adelaide slept intermittently. It was hard to get her to stop burbling and babbling. Cute as her vocalizations are, she doesn't make sleep easy. I think she's in a contest with one of our cats, Terra, to see which one is cutest.

To help with the nursing, Amy has been using a Boppy. They're specially shaped pillows that sit around the mother's mid-section so she can rest her baby on top while feeding. She loves it, though it's difficult figuring out how to get Adelaide to latch on properly.


It's hard to tell what Adelaide needs sometimes. She often burbles or cries, then makes what I call the "poopy face." You know the one. the whole face screws up, the mouth gets tight, her little eyebrows furrow, and she grunts like she's squeezing something out. Then she relaxes her face and smiles a little. But they're usually false alarms.

...In 15 years, I'll be able to use this blog as blackmail material.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Love at First Sight

As if to prove me wrong, a few moments after I put up the previous post, my wife Amy went into labor.

At first we counted out the contractions using Contraction Master, a free online program that tracks how long and how far apart the contractions are. The midwife told us that once they are less than 5 minutes apart and last longer than a minute, we should call her. It did not take long.

The labor progressed and I was doing everything possible to help Amy. The Hypnobabies, she said, took the edge off the pain, but it unfortunately failed us in its claim. However, she blames herself, saying she didn't do enough of the home exercises to really establish a powerful sense of hypnosis. When it came time to push (transition), I was having to remind her of the basic techniques constantly. It felt terrible and awe-inspiring that my wife had to go through something like that. And never once did she ask for drugs or an episiotomy. I'm very proud of her.

The baby was crowning for the better part of an hour, and after 17 hours of labor, we had a daughter. It was amazing how frightened I suddenly became when she was unresponsive and not breathing. The cord had been tied around her neck so tightly, the midwife couldn't get it loose. Her shoulder was also caught. She was limp and blue and all the two of us could do was try to encourage her to breathe. 2 minutes and a 911 call later, she started to breath, but it was slight, labored, and erratic. I went from abject fear to love and jubilation so many times in such a short amount of time that I was nearly sick.

In the end, Adelaide was born at 6:56am, 22 inches long, 8 pounds 10 ounces of cuteness. She burbles and coos a lot, sounding remarkably like our cats. Her skin is amazingly soft! She stops crying whenever I pick her up - a daddy's girl already.

Now Amy and I are exhausted, but have to take care of this little life. She cries, but hasn't needed changing yet, and isn't very good at breastfeeding. I hope and pray that we get enough sleep to function properly soon. I will probably be taking at least this week off from school, though if I find some spare time, it will be spent looking for a job.

Ah, the joys of an unemployed father.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Waiting...

So, it has been nearly a week since my wife's due date has passed and we still have no baby.

We've been trying to keep ourselves busy and doing a few things that might help induce labor (or, as Hypnobabies likes to call it, "Birthing Time"). Every day we had been going for walks in various places such as the mall and the botanical gardens. Last night, we tried various acupressure points (even if they don't really work, it doesn't hurt to try). This morning we had spicy food. We've spent time with babies and we've even... ahem... stimulated the flow of oxytocin. All of these supposedly help induce labor, but they haven't had any effect yet. I was even hoping that the full moon on the 19th (closest in 18 years) would make a difference. But alas! Our baby has not yet decided on a birthday.

School starts back up on Monday and I have to make some important decisions about the future of my schooling, my career, and my family. Hopefully the baby will come soon! Tomorrow we see the midwife again.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Briefcase and Boogers

Greetings, friends!

You have made it to my personal blog chronicling the adventures of a first-time dad. There just aren't enough blogs out there from the dad's point of view. I have seen some, and if I run across more I will surely link to them for you! If I can, I will post pictures, tell anecdotes, and reveal secrets into the art of fatherhood.

Let me tell you a little about myself.
I am almost 30 years old and have been married for almost 3 years. I have a degree in Nonfiction Writing and Editing, but cannot find work, so I have returned to school to pursue a degree in Mechanical Engineering. I am a self-taught guitarist and have been playing for about 5 years now. However, I will never give up my first love: writing. There is a good chance that I will, however, end up as a stay-at-home dad, at least for a time. It would give me a chance to do some writing, I hope, but my wife would definitely be jealous that I'd get to spend more time with the kids. If you want to see my other blog, check it out here.

My wife, Amy, and I discovered we were pregnant 9 months ago. As of today, my wife is 40 weeks pregnant. She could pop at any minute! Now, the average first pregnancy actually lasts 41 weeks and 1 day, so there's a chance that she will not be giving birth for a little while now. Her mom is here with us now, and her dad will be joining us soon. We do not live close to our parents, so this will be a good chance for them to get to meet their first ever grandchild. The same is true for my side of the family. They will be joining us a week or so after the birth.

Although I do have friends who have kids, I don't live near them any longer. So we'll be learning on the fly!

We have decided on a home birth, using a midwife and Hypnobabies. Now, don't think I'm a crazy person or that we're all crunchy granola (ok, we're a little crunchy granola...). We've done a lot of research into this. First of all, approximately 33% of all births in America are performed via Caesarean Section - a major surgical procedure that has a long list of possible side effects (including paralysis, permanent damage, and death - for both mother and child). This has risen in the past few years. C-Sections also deprive mothers and babies of bonding time and may be a cause of parents who do not bond well with their children. Over in Europe, midwives are common and the C-Section rate is about 8% - the level it should be at. There are many other things we want to avoid, so we decided a hospital is not the place for us. Granted, if a C-section becomes necessary, then we will not hesitate. We just want to eliminate any unnecessary procedures.
As for hypnosis, this isn't some "cluck like a chicken" crap. The idea is simple: make yourself calm. Hypnosis does work, but only if you allow it to. Here, you are allowing yourself to believe that you will not feel pain, that you will have a fast, easy birth (the scripts I have to read to my wife need an editor, however). Surprisingly, it works. Most mothers who use Hypnobabies experience no or little discomfort. By convincing yourself that there will be no pain, you don't fear giving birth, you don't tense up, you remain in a nice, relaxed state, and you let your body get to work. By not using Pitocin but instead by stimulating oxytocin, you let your body push naturally (gentle waves of pressure aren't as painful as the sharp ones Pitocin produces). Because you don't tense up, have no drugs, and know what are the best positions and techniques for giving birth, the level of pain drops dramatically. Some women even orgasm during childbirth!

So, all that aside, we're ready to give birth any day now! I'm excited and nervous. We don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet. In fact, we've been asked this question so many times, I decided to make a shirt for all you pregnant ladies out there!

http://www.cafepress.com/BriefcaseandBoogers

Just get a felt-tip permanent marker and fill in the blanks!

Now, as time is going to be in short supply in my life, this blog may not be updated as often as I would like. Or, the updates may be short and sweet. Forgive me - I am a new father, after all!