Thursday, April 18, 2013

Teeth and Sleep

Sleep has ceased to be a biological function, a luxury, or even a necessity in our household.  It has become a commodity, with an exchange rate to the US dollar.  And let me tell you, it is valuable stuff.

It all started after I took Addy to her first dentist appointment.  Her teeth were, surprisingly, very clean.  I was not surprised because we never brush her teeth, but because brushing her teeth involved a one-handed, inverted headlock while sitting on the toilet and blocking her hands and legs with your body, all while trying to maneuver a toothbrush through a pair of lips that could clamp over teeth like a monkey can grip a banana.  It was nearly impossible to clean her bottom teeth, and it always ended in tears (often from more than one person).  The dentist, however, said that we were right in still trying to brush her teeth (and not just giving in), but that if we lie her on the floor it will be easier.  And, it really, really is.  Sometimes it only takes one of us to brush her teeth now!

But that is beside the point.  The dentist also noted that she is developing an "open bite."  That means her canines are contacting before her incisors... so with her mouth closed there's a gap in her front teeth.  This is caused by what the doctor called, "The Habit!" (dun-dun-DUN!)

For those not versed in toddler-talk, the Habit is your child's dependence on a pacifier.  Pacifiers are a good thing when your child is still young.  They help both you and them sleep, they can reduce the risk of SIDS, and they can soothe a crying child fast.  Though, I heard that if the pacifier falls out while trying to put your baby down, don't put it back in.  When your child's teeth start to come in, however, the constant sucking on a pacifier can eventually push the front teeth (the incisors) apart, resulting in an open bite and the possible need for orthodontics later in life.  Our dentist said that a good guideline for when to start weaning your child off the Habit is when he or she can speak while still holding it in his or her mouth.

Now, she recommended we start with nap times, since they are generally short, and then eliminate it for bed time.  And during the weaning, the pacifiers always stay in the crib.  But Addy... her naps are often 2, 3, or even 4 hours long.  And she won't take them unless she falls asleep in my lap.  This has never been a problem, until now.  Now she does all she can to keep herself awake... she squirms and fiddles, sings along, hits me, kicks, sticks her finger in my eye, grabs at the book I am reading her, and generally whines the entire time.  I may have to change how I do this.  So nap times are quickly becoming "quiet" times, the emphasis on the "".  I put some toys and books in her crib, maybe some water, and leave her be so I can do grown-up things like laundry, dishes, bills, etc. etc. etc.  But she won't BE quiet any longer; she'll just scream and throw her books around.  This new development is not acceptable.

So now I am finding that I cannot take naps OR do grown-up work during the day.  Grown-up work now has to happen at night when Amy is home to watch her and make sure she hasn't learned how to fit a paperclip into an outlet.  Not that I keep paperclips around.  Night WAS when I tried to work on my writing.  I am at the last scene of a novel I've been working on for nearly 2 years, but I cannot seem to get any further.  By the time the day is over, I am already exhausted.. then I have to pretend to be an adult and do responsible things.  On top of normal bills and the like, we are planning to move soon, so I've been trying to look into everything we need t do for that as well.  Plus, Addy will take a lot longer to go to sleep now that she isn't using her pacifier (despite not sleeping for her nap), grating the nerves of everything in the house and interrupting everything we are trying to do (even the cats!)  Every night this week, I've either stayed up until 1 or 2, fell asleep on the couch TRYING to write (often at 1 or 2), or gone to bed early. It is no surprise then that when Addy wakes up at a quarter to ungodly-hour, I am dead-to-the-world tired.  And although my wife has been taking care of her more in the mornings, which I greatly appreciate, Addy's initial crying always wakes me up and there's no way I'm getting any more REM.

Rinse.  Repeat.

So, if someone wants to make a killing, I'm sure there's a huge market in Sleep for the parents of little ones.