Conversations with a 3-year-old Part 2

While walking Addy to the car from the grocery store and strapping her in, she decided to sing.  She does this a lot, and usually randomly.  More often than not, nowadays, it is one or two repeated lines from the movie "Frozen."  I am sure that I am not the only parent who has experienced this.

She has been known to scream "Here I stand!  and here I stand!  and here I stand!" while pounding her foot on the ground and making an invisible castle rise up around her.

This time, however, she decided to change the words.  I think you'll agree, we have a singer-songwriter on our hands.

The first thing she was "singing" at the top of her lungs was "It's ALL my fault!  All my fault!!"

She did this maybe 6 or 7 times.  Now, she doesn't know was "fault" really means, at least I don't think she does.  If I apologize to her for something I shouldn't have done, like eating her food or raising my voice, I'll usually say, "I'm sorry, i was my fault."  She will respond with, "No!  It's MY fault!" as if possession of the fault is desirable.  Then again, maybe she really does want things to be her fault.

So as I start to put her in the car, she changes the song.  "Let it go!!  Let it go!  Let it GOO!!!  HERE I stand!  And HERE I stand!"

Adorable, no?  But finally, when I get her buckled into her car seat, she starts bobbing her head from side to side and changes up the song entirely.  "Peace like a RIVER!  Peace like A RIVER!  My SOOUUL!!"

It's then that I realize she has just solved every problem of mankind in one three-year-old's song.

Iterative

I am raising my mother.

I've tried to stop it, but life, as Dr. Malcolm once said, will find a way.

It started when I noticed her from behind.  Her hair is sandy and very curly, and is in the same shape as my mother's hair.  For all intents and purposes, it is my mother's hair.  But my wife's hair is also curly, so I could get over this.

My mother has some OCD tendencies towards cleanliness, but not necessarily neatness (that's my father).  Addy has been showing signs of both...  She pretends to clean the bath tub.  Where she gets this from, I don't know.  I don't think I've ever cleaned a bath tub with her around.  She likes to clean the floor, to clean the table, to clean the sink (which she claims is covered in cat poo because it is brown, but the sink is just cat-poo-brown).  She also likes to pile things up (which, if you know my mother, is a bad sign) and straighten things in rows and by type.  I know all toddlers do this, but she thrives on it.

When I was younger, my mother would regale us with "her songs."  These are usually cute little songs of relatively inappropriate lyrics for adults (but only because we have dirty minds).  The one that sticks out most in my mind was entitled, "Wiener City."  She would also extemporize.  Don't get me wrong - my mother can hold a tune.  She taught piano all my life.  She knows music.  So what would possess her to sing an ode to poo?  I swore I would never do this, though I was fully expecting these things to slip into my daily habits once I became a dad.  Sadly, it skipped a generation.

Adelaide has been singing.  She loves to sing and make up her own songs, though she lacks the technical expertise of someone as experienced as my mother.  Today she was singing, or perhaps chanting, "Poo-poo poopy" over and over.  I asked if she had to go use the potty.  She told me, "No," and then proceeded to renew her Aria de Merde with greater vigor.

...while running around without pants on.  She hates them, refuses to wear them.  The only difference between the two of them is that my mother will become self-conscious when other people come over and may see her in such a state.  My child has not yet learned humiliation.

No one warned me about this.

Conversations with a 3-year-old Part 1

This morning I was awoken by our three-year-old daughter, as is usually the case.  She likes to help me get ready in the morning.  This is a conversation we had while I was getting dressed.


"Hobo?  What's a hobo?" I asked.

"Hobo there!  mumbmnnusdf pretty dress!"  She opens up her hand to reveal several ribbons and bows.

"Oh!  HAIR bows!  Not hobos!  Can you say 'hair bow?'"

"Hobo!"

"Hair.  Bow."

"Ho--bo."

"Hair?"

"Haair!"

"Bow."

"Bow!"

"Hair bow."

"Hairhobo!"  At this point I cannot stop laughing.  She gets up on the bed behind me.  "I wanna hairhobo."

"I'm sure we all want a hairhobo, dear.  Where would you like me to put it?"

"No!  I lkdlkonmmsld daddy hairhobo!"

And that is the story of why I am currently wearing a hairhobo.

Random Update - Addy's Bedtime Revenge

Our kitty, Nimbus, knows that he belongs to our daughter.  He followed me and Addy home from a walk one day and got along fine with our kitties, plus not only did Addy fall in love with him instantly, but he took a real shining to her.  And that has never gone away.  Even though he has gone from being a 3-pound cutie to a 16-pound bruiser, and Addy is now a full-blown toddler, he still puts up with everything she can dish out.  She tackles him, hugs him, combs his hair, chases him around, pulls on his tail, puts him in headlocks, tries to carry him around (usually in said headlock), rakes him, tries to water him...

This evening, he decided he was going to sleep on her bed.  Now, he loves to sleep under it, and recently he's been sleeping in front of it and on her sheets, but tonight he was actually fast asleep in it.  This, apparently, was too much for her.  Instead of being happy, she wanted him out of her bed (well, she's 2 1/2.  she doesn't really know what she wants yet).  Nimbus was all happy being there and didn't want to leave, so Addy, in a fit of revenge, decided that he needed a taste of his own medicine.

She marched out of the room and lay down in Nimbus' cat bed.

Way to show him, kid.

Teeth and Sleep

Sleep has ceased to be a biological function, a luxury, or even a necessity in our household.  It has become a commodity, with an exchange rate to the US dollar.  And let me tell you, it is valuable stuff.

It all started after I took Addy to her first dentist appointment.  Her teeth were, surprisingly, very clean.  I was not surprised because we never brush her teeth, but because brushing her teeth involved a one-handed, inverted headlock while sitting on the toilet and blocking her hands and legs with your body, all while trying to maneuver a toothbrush through a pair of lips that could clamp over teeth like a monkey can grip a banana.  It was nearly impossible to clean her bottom teeth, and it always ended in tears (often from more than one person).  The dentist, however, said that we were right in still trying to brush her teeth (and not just giving in), but that if we lie her on the floor it will be easier.  And, it really, really is.  Sometimes it only takes one of us to brush her teeth now!

But that is beside the point.  The dentist also noted that she is developing an "open bite."  That means her canines are contacting before her incisors... so with her mouth closed there's a gap in her front teeth.  This is caused by what the doctor called, "The Habit!" (dun-dun-DUN!)

For those not versed in toddler-talk, the Habit is your child's dependence on a pacifier.  Pacifiers are a good thing when your child is still young.  They help both you and them sleep, they can reduce the risk of SIDS, and they can soothe a crying child fast.  Though, I heard that if the pacifier falls out while trying to put your baby down, don't put it back in.  When your child's teeth start to come in, however, the constant sucking on a pacifier can eventually push the front teeth (the incisors) apart, resulting in an open bite and the possible need for orthodontics later in life.  Our dentist said that a good guideline for when to start weaning your child off the Habit is when he or she can speak while still holding it in his or her mouth.

Now, she recommended we start with nap times, since they are generally short, and then eliminate it for bed time.  And during the weaning, the pacifiers always stay in the crib.  But Addy... her naps are often 2, 3, or even 4 hours long.  And she won't take them unless she falls asleep in my lap.  This has never been a problem, until now.  Now she does all she can to keep herself awake... she squirms and fiddles, sings along, hits me, kicks, sticks her finger in my eye, grabs at the book I am reading her, and generally whines the entire time.  I may have to change how I do this.  So nap times are quickly becoming "quiet" times, the emphasis on the "".  I put some toys and books in her crib, maybe some water, and leave her be so I can do grown-up things like laundry, dishes, bills, etc. etc. etc.  But she won't BE quiet any longer; she'll just scream and throw her books around.  This new development is not acceptable.

So now I am finding that I cannot take naps OR do grown-up work during the day.  Grown-up work now has to happen at night when Amy is home to watch her and make sure she hasn't learned how to fit a paperclip into an outlet.  Not that I keep paperclips around.  Night WAS when I tried to work on my writing.  I am at the last scene of a novel I've been working on for nearly 2 years, but I cannot seem to get any further.  By the time the day is over, I am already exhausted.. then I have to pretend to be an adult and do responsible things.  On top of normal bills and the like, we are planning to move soon, so I've been trying to look into everything we need t do for that as well.  Plus, Addy will take a lot longer to go to sleep now that she isn't using her pacifier (despite not sleeping for her nap), grating the nerves of everything in the house and interrupting everything we are trying to do (even the cats!)  Every night this week, I've either stayed up until 1 or 2, fell asleep on the couch TRYING to write (often at 1 or 2), or gone to bed early. It is no surprise then that when Addy wakes up at a quarter to ungodly-hour, I am dead-to-the-world tired.  And although my wife has been taking care of her more in the mornings, which I greatly appreciate, Addy's initial crying always wakes me up and there's no way I'm getting any more REM.

Rinse.  Repeat.

So, if someone wants to make a killing, I'm sure there's a huge market in Sleep for the parents of little ones.

Time-out

We've started implementing time-outs with Addy when she does something wrong.  Here's how it is supposed to work:

-Addy does something she is not supposed to do.  She gets a warning and she'll go into time-out if she does it again.

-Addy does it again.  We set out her little time-out mat and set her down in it.

-Addy sits there for one minute per year she has been alive (I'm kinda dreading her 2nd birthday...).  If she leaves her spot, we reset the minute.

-When it's over, we tell her why she was in time-out again, tell her not to do it, say we love her, and give her a hug and a kiss.

Now it usually works where she's testing us... seeing how far off the mat she can get before we reset, or running back to the mat when she sees she's gone too far.  She laughs - it's a game.  At least, until about the 15th time we've had to start over... then she's crying.  Eventually she sits there the full minute and more often than not she doesn't do the incorrect behavior again. At least, not for a few hours.

We're still working on some behaviors, like pulling the DVDs, Blue-Rays, and CDs out or standing on her table.  To be honest, I'm not sure how to make her understand that these are unacceptable behaviors so she won't do them again.  That got me thinking.

When I was a kid, I was spanked a few times, but it was usually the THREAT of being spanked that stopped me from doing something.  It's the same with Addy.  We tell her that if she does it again, she'll go into time-out, and usually she stops.  Just a minute ago, she was sitting next to me, watching me write this, with her hand raised in the air.  She was prepared to hit the computer - one of her favorite pastimes.  I told her if she did she'd go into time-out and she dropped her hand, did a little disappointed pouty face, and wandered off.

I'm not sure how long our society has favored things like time-out over other punishments, or if it's always been there.  It seems to me that we always have these punishments, even as adults.

If I broke the rules (say, robbed a bank), I'd go away to "time-out" (prison) for a while (a long while).  And I'm sure that the threat of going to jail prevents a lot of crimes.  Just a thought.

Beamline Day The Last

It has finally come to an end!  Amy will be returning home tonight!  Granted, her flight gets in at around 10:30-ish... and then she has about an hour drive to get here, and she's only had about 4 hours of sleep in the last 36...  Well, she may get here tomorrow... by a few minutes.

All last month I'd been trying to get together with a fellow stay-at-home-dad in the same area.  We met at the Botanical Gardens, but we've been too busy to really let our kids (both girls around the same age) have any play dates together.  Last week it was icing, so we cancelled.  This week, well...

Addy has been having a runny nose for a few days now, ever since the storms hit on Tuesday.  I figured it was part of teething or the cold weather.  Yesterday they didn't let up, but I wasn't too concerned.  But this morning it was a little worse, and she was even warmer.  Since she's not been getting better, I figured it was time to go to the doctor's.  OK, my wife suggested it, but I would have gotten around to it!

Addy was good in the car to the doctor's.  She was running around the waiting room, playing hide-and-seek with herself in the mirror and exploring the bathroom.  But the moment the nurse practitioner opened the door, she screamed and ran to me.  She threw her arms around me tightly and would NOT let go, even for them to take her weight.  I guess she remembers those shots...

I was able to calm her down with the doctor came in to see us and she was mostly fine from then on, but the doc gave us less-than-pleasant news.  It turns out that, yes, Addy is bona fide sick.  RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus) is apparently going around, and Addy got it.  To us adults, it's like a cold.  To her, it's a bad cold that might last a couple of weeks!  And to top it off, both of her ears have ear infections.  She probably got it from the play ground we went to on Monday.  I hope everyone there is alright.  Of course, I probably have it too, and now I'm convinced I have ear sympathy pains.

So now I know why she hasn't been sleeping so well and has been fussier than normal.  I get the antibiotics and saline nose spray, run a few chores, and then head home.  I dont' want to be out in the cold for very long with a sick toddler!  This means that I will instead be homebound all day with a sick toddler.  Joy of joys.

Did you catch that sarcasm?  Cause I was laying it on pretty thick right there.

I was hoping that the antibiotic would put her to sleep, but it seems to be made out of red bull and fairy dust.  After a rather normal, albeit late, lunch, she was bouncing off the walls.  Normally she's out pretty fast, especially when I rock with her and sing.  This time, she was more interested in tickling my arm, pulling on my facial hair, swinging any limbs that she could, twisting in circles, reading the same book 10 times, and pointing out that there were no kitties in the room at that moment and there most certainly should be.  I finally gave up and put her into her crib at around 2, hoping she'll just calm down and sleep.  At 2:30, I realize that the contact complaining from her room is not going to end, and when I walk in she's even more awake than ever.  Just... shoot me.

I can hardly describe what it is like to be homebound for the 3rd day with a sleepless, sick toddler while I'm feeling sleepless and sick myself, missing Amy, and starting to feel a mixture of ennui and depression coming on.  Thankfully, we were able to have a decent dinner and she seems to have gone down for the night fairly well.

If it seems from these last few posts that Addy is a terrible child or that I am a pessimistic, terrible parent, please realize that this is only what I'm letting you see.  She's actually a joy to be around 90% of the time... ok, 80%.  I also know things could easily get much worse... for instance, I only have one child.  One of my facebook friends was talking about having to deal with 3 and a puppy, with biting, vomit, and other unpleasantries all around.  I am grateful, I really am.  But I also really cannot wait to see my wife and get some me time again.


PS - I mentioned vomit again.  Let's see if this boosts my page views.